Eugenics and steroid skeletons: An optimizer's guide to Tal'Dorei Campaign Setting Reborn
Critical Role, one of the greatest companies at fault for making people think that 5e is a good game, released another source book after the fantastic book called Chron, Gift of Alacrity, And a Hundred Pages of Lore You Won't Read. This time around, its bullshit is no longer concentrated in two subclasses, but entirely in your ancestors being complete freaks in addition to two subclasses.
Mixed Ancestry
What immediately makes this book more broken than EGW is the fact that you can be mixed. Breaking this is simple:
- Have an ancestor be Mark of Healing or Hospitality
- Have another ancestor who you'd like to get a racial feature from have a baby with Hospi
- Have that baby, it's baby, and it's baby's baby have babies with whoever you'd like to have racial features from
- Remember that you can just get either Custom Lineage for its feat or Half-Elf for its +2/+1/+1 if you're done getting whatever you like
- Don't worry about missing languages since your background gives them anyway.
- Congratulations! You're now a freak of nature who has the optimizer's wet dream of a race.
I would recommend running this RASITBWTII (Rules As Stated In The Book What The Intent Is) which says to just use this for trading flavor features and/or keeping it to a more reasonable (but still very powerful) 2 races max.
Subclasses
Note that the ratings are relative to the subs of that class, which is why Juggernaut isn't a 1/6 by virtue of being a Barb sub.
Path of The Juggernaut (4/6 for melee, 1/6 for ranged)
College of Tragedy (6/6)
Would you like infinite Bardics out of combat?
Lv 3: Poetry in Misery (6/6): What you're gonna do at the end of every combat and when waking up is make everyone make ranged attack rolls against a target within 5 feet of them to farm Bardics at an incredible pace. You can have your entire army enter combat with a Bardic and with just a bit more time also recover most or all lost HP with Magical Inspiration. Hell, rolling a d20 is so common that you can feasibly get one or two additional Bardics during a fight, so feel free to use them liberally.
Lv 3: Sorrowful Fate (4/6): This is a good save debuffer since Cha is often low on monsters. Remember that this barely has a resource cost with Poetry in Misery (which is reflected in the rating).
Lv 6: Tale of Hubris (1/6): Per Skeleton, this is 0.325 dpr.
Lv 6: Impending Misfortune (4/6): Yeah sure, I'll take a save buff so enormous it usually might as well be a LR. This is dragged down by the possibility of being forced to make another save before you can remove the penalty by attacking on your turn.
Lv 14: Nimbus of Pathos (3/6): While it lasts, this is a legit fantastic buff. However, the problem is that this is not only 1/LR, The target dropping to 0 HP usually isn't that bad due to Poetry in Misery + Magical Inspiration and the fight being long over after 1 minute, but might get annoying if you get ambushed before you get to heal them up or it screws with elongated Longbow kiting fights.
Blood Domain (5/6 or 6/6 depending on BF ADead ruling)
This is a dip to the level of Twi or to the level of Peace, depending on the ruling of Bloodletting Focus.
Lv 1: Domain Spells (2/6): Sleep and I guess Slow leaves a lot do be desired for a sub list of a class whose spell list leaves a lot to be desired.
Lv 1: Bloodletting Focus (6/6 if Animate Dead counts, 1/6 if not but may be higher depending on your spells): The spells which might qualify for this on the Cleric list are Inflict Wounds, ADead, Flame Strike and Harm. If ADead works with this, then this is an incredible damage-dealing feature, no less than doubling a Skeleton's dpr.
Otherwise, Cleric gets nothing good which qualifies for this. For builds just dipping Cleric, it might be good, but that'd depend on the spells the build gets.
Magic Missile certainly would pass as a damage dealing spell, which would give you great but reasonable nova damage combined with this.
Lv 2: Channel Divinity: Crimson Bond (1/6): Yes, please show the approximate location of a creature I'm seeing. Yes, please deal damage to me for the chance of getting minor intel.
Lv 6: Channel Divinity: Blood Puppet (5/6): Assuming your DM is challenging you, you're very likely to have a great corpse to fuck shit up with just damage.
Lv 6: Sanguine Recall (5/6): The damage is little assuming you have Lifeberry. Getting another lv 5 slot is huge, though not as big as usual given that we're dealing with the Cleric list.
Lv 17: Vascular Corruption Aura (2/6): A capstone that does not deal its name justice. The damage is good, but I'd like some control or win-button to go along with my action in T4.
Moon Domain (3/6)
A painful drop-off from Blood, it's one of those subs that you just pick for the spells (and it isn't beating Tempest in this department).
Lv 1: Domain Spells (4/6): Invisibility and HypPat. That this is a 4/6 speak volumes of the Clershit spell list.
Lv 1: Clarity of Catha (2/6): The save buff is strong, but the uses of this are too limited.
Lv 2: Channel Divinity: blessing of the Two Moons (3/6): Pick your deal of +10 Speed or Pack Tactics. Neither are exactly blowing my mind, so I'm still just gonna use my CD on Harness Divine Power.
Lv 6: Channel Divinity: Mind of Two Moons (2/6): For as funny as two HypPats is, this is a rather expensive nova, consuming the slot for the 2nd spell as well as a PBth lv slot from the expended CD that could've gone to Harness Divine Power.
Lv 17: Eclipse of Ill Omen (2/6): The effect is... fine, and the conc isn't much of a draw-back, but 1/LR is extremely little for this shitty effect.
Circle of the Blighted (5/6)
This subclass understands what you want out of a 5e build: Control, minions, and survivability. This is a worthy competitor to Shep and Wildfire.
Lv 2: Defile Ground (5/6): This is a pretty nifty control effect which doesn't consume any resource of yours, nor your concentration. The damage is a nice cherry on top to make quite a versatile feature.
Lv 2: Blighted Shape (2/6): This makes popping into a Wild Shape to defend yourself a bit better, which isn't rocking the world nor making it competitive with Wild Companion.
Lv 6: Call of the Shadowseeds (4/6): As far as I'm concerned, this is PB/LR additional Familiar. Treat is as another faceless minion. Make sure to rest-use Defile Ground to get one of these.
Lv 10: Defile Ground (10th level) (4/6): Makes our cheap control feature greater. Love to see it.
Lv 14: Defile Ground (14level) (2/6): Makes our cheap control feature deal slightly more damage. Can I instead have more control, please?
Lv 14: Incarnate of Corruption (6/6): +2 AC (and I guess necrotic resistance) is already an easy 5/6. This deserves a 6/6, because the writers went to the Valor Bard school of not making a benefit intended as temporary be actually temporary, meaning that you can take a BA to get PB THP anywhere at any time so long as you've ever started your turn on your Defile Ground.
Way of the Cobalt Soul (1/6)
This is wholely terrible even for melee Monk standards. Not worth a break-down whatsoever.
Oath of the Open Sea (3/6)
Lv 3: Oath Spells (2/6, 1/6 if you have FT: GoA): Augury and Misty Step are decent. That's it.
Lv 3: Channel Divinity: Marine Layer (1/6): Heavy Obscurement is usually great, but it's rather terrible if it only works in an aura, takes an action to activate, and is bypassed by being adjacent to you, which many monsters want to be anyway.
Lv 3: Channel Divinity: Fury of the Tides (3/6, 1/6 if you dipped EBARB): Pushing is always good, but less so when it costs a resource, a BA, and is 1/turn.
Lv 7: Aura of Liberation (3/6): Getting grappled or restrained optimally happens rarely, but can be pains in the ass when that does happen, often due to auto-grapple/restrain effects. That said, I don't think I'd take the extra level for this. Just give me another fullcaster level instead.
Lv 15: Stormy Waters (2/6, 1/6 if your have War Caster like you should): This is only marginally better than an OA.
Lv 20: Mystic Swashbuckler (2/6): This is an okay defensive feature, but 1/LR and action use.
Runechild sorcerous origin (4/6)
Lv 6: Glyph of Aegis (1/6): Exclusively use this to rest-use your runes. It's free damage prevention, so... No, there is a point where 'free' stops being a ticket to a 2/6, and this shit deserves it.
Lv 6: Sigilic Augmentation (2/6): Adv at the cost of your reaction. Once. Whoop dee doo.
Lv 6: Manifest Inscriptions (2/6): A thoroughly mediocre trap detector, but the resource it pulls from is usable for such shitty effect that you might as well if you wanna be safe.
Lv 14: Glyph of Aegis (d8) (1/6): Can we get back to features as strong as the spell list, please?
Lv 14: Runic Torrent (2/6): There is again nothing better to use your shitty runes on, but this is behind a save and has a decent impact on the fight at best 1/SR.
Lv 18: Arcane Exemplar (2/6): This is quite a strong defensive benefit while it lasts and is worth expending runes on. However, 1/LR defensive buff when we're dealing with True Polymorph is too little, too late.
Blood Magic Arcane Tradition (3/6)
Lv 6: Bond of Mutual Suffering (1/6): You could also just not take any damage with your defensive reaction spells. 1 PC HP is worth far more than 1 monster HP.
Lv 10: Glyph of Hemorrhaging (3/6): The damage here is significant. I can't really say more about this other than using this when you want your Skeletons to kill the target quicker.
Lv 14: Thicker Than Water (6/6): You eat Goodberries very efficiently, and resistance to the 3 most common damage types which aren't covered by Absorb Elements is great to have. This makes you defensively awesome.
Backgrounds
The only one worth talking about is Whitestone Rifle Corps, which gives you a musket to either sell for 250 gp or to use in a game which otherwise wouldn't allow it. It also gives firearms prof, so you can get Gunner at lv 4 rather than 1 to have Sharpshooter at lv 1 instead if you wanna actually use the musket.
Feats
Cruel (1/6): The only half-way worthwhile use for these is the THP. Please just get Inspiring Leader instead of PBd6 THP.
Flash Recall (2/6): This is neat to let you be able to swap to a niche spell of yours... but how often do you need to do that so urgently that you can't take a LR and with no other viable option?
Mind Influx (X/6): X is equal to the rating of the item you can attune to thanks to this feat. This can easily be an amazing feat.
Remarkable Recovery (5/6): Con half-feat is a 2/6, but what we're here for is making you very efficiently snack on Goodberries, like with Thicker Than Water from Blood Wiz. This is like if Tough was actually as good as Reddit makes it out to be.
Spelldriver (2/6): This is mostly for Sorc using Quickened Spell, which is a rather expensive way to nova, and casting a leveled spell and then Misty Step I guess. We could've gotten somewhere if this were to be a half-feat.
Thrown Arms Master (2/6): The best melee weapons are Heavy polearms, all of which being two-handed and with Reach, meaning that this is a whopping 5 ft improvement that won't let you make the PAM attack unless you enter melee after throwing the weapon, at which point I must ask what the fuck the point of this is. This escapes a 1/6 by being a half-feat and being able to throw Javelins further being nice.
Vital Sacrifice (5/6): The obviously best uses for this are for attacks if you won't miss a BA attack when you use this, smiting but actually usable, and most notably the save penalty. Making your spells stick is really nice. The damage you take isn't negligible, but it's little. Note its synergy with THP softening the blow, particularly Fiendish Vigor and Twi's CD.
Magic Items
Boots of Speed (1/6): 1/day super-Action Surge is a bad use of your attunement. Haste doesn't even let you cast a spell or anything.
Boots of the Vigilant (4/6): Initiative bonuses are huge in 5e. It's worth it to get multiple pairs of these.
Cataclysm Bolts (2/6): The effects are strong, but... consumable. Yuck.
Coat of the Crest (1/6): I assume this being specified as being able to be worn over light armor implies that it doesn't work with any other armors. Medium Armor is obligatory, so this item can go into the trash.
Corecut Dagger (1/6): At least they figured out how to make a curse actually have a painful negative.
Dagger of Denial (2/6): +2 on a shitty weapon with attunement and a minor additional benefit. Whoop dee doo.
Doublet of Dramatic Demise (4/6, 5/6 on Barb): This is fairly useful defensive item due to it just being Common and preventing several drawbacks of being Unconscious. This also prevents Barb's Rage from being disabled due to becoming Unconscious, which is quite nice.
Echo Stone (1/6): This can net you some intel easily by using some spell to make it glow for longer than a minute and then transfer it to a location you want to plant this bug in. The problems with this are getting it out of that location and whether this is even useful in a game with Detect Thoughts.
Graz'tchar, The Decadent End (1/6): Melee weapon, and not one of the good ones either. Skip.
Inescapable Lash (4/6 if you're gonna melee anyway, 5/6 have a minion to do so): Auto-restrain is really strong. This is better on a minion due to this requiring attunement. This also makes melee less deadly by letting you play at a far greater distance than Reach weapons with its 20 ft each. However, you lack a way to BA attack with this, which really sucks for your dpr.
Magician's Judge (2/6): 1/day Dispel Magic is okay-ish, but I expect much better from a Rare weapon.
Mirror of Infinite Transpondence (1/6): Getting the second of the pair can be tedious with nowhere near a worthwhile trade-off for a Very Rare item.
Raven's Slumber (3/6 if you've got a worthwhile minion for this): This makes your Wildfire Spirits recyclable, which is a nice enough benefit, but these kinds of minions generally don't cost enough to make a Very Rare items which recycles them very good. It lacks attunement, so you could instruct minions to whack creatures with this in the hopes that something fails the save, passing it along to each other.
Rod of Mercurial Form (6/6 for Hand Crossbow users): This generates its own ammo, meaning that you get to use your xbow while wielding a shield. In other words, this is +2 AC with no attunement requirement.
Stormrider Boots (3/6): This is sorta like a 1/day Thunder Step. This is just cool.
Summer's Dance (1/6): Shitty weapon. Attunement isn't worth 3 Misty Steps.
Tinkertop Boltblaster 1000 (1/6): Sometimes getting another attack is nowhere near enough to make this attunement item which is Very Rare and barely better than a +1 xbow ever worthwhile.
Earthboard (4/6, 2/6 if you've got a Phantom Steed or another really good mount): This would be the coolest item in the book, were it not for the fact that speed is mostly just for kiting. 60 ft is an amazing amounts of speed. The burrow speed, if applicable, can be better than a flying speed, which is a benefit that's applicable even when a better mount overtakes this for kiting.
Flamefriend Lantern (2/6): The only half-way decent thing here is 1 hr Fire resistance. Attunement, so skip.
Oceanic Weapon (1/6): That fated water adventure will surely come someday.
Skysail (3/6): This is like if Broom of Flying was Aang's flying stick thing and actually a balanced item.
I don't care to cover the Vestiges of Divergence, but know that RAW the damage increase stacks with the regular oversized weapons rules, so f.e. a Large Fenthras would deal 4d8 on a hit.
Illegal Drugs
Conj stocks go up as usual.
Oloore Tea (2/6): lv 5 scrolls are 1.000 GP. This is a tenth of that with a high Con save you first need to pass. If you want a Scrying scroll, then I would recommmend this instead.
Zeal (1/6): Firstly, to not be out of the fight, you need to pass a DC 12 Con save. So you'd wanna use this by making many minions slather this on you to stack the damage, but then you run into the problems that A) they could just be flinging Wands of Magic Missiles, B) even a DC 12 Con save becomes hard to pass when you're making the save several times (and War Caster won't apply), and C) all of those doses all cost 150 GP. Even after all this, Exhaustion is fucking brutal. Never use this.
Suude (5/6): I'm just taking a cast of 125 GP, as they forgot to specify this and this is the average of the previous two. The best use of this is using blue suude to Twin stuff like Aid and Death Ward for free, which is sublime comparing it to scrolls of those spells. Don't use this in combat.
Optional rules
Until now, I've just been looking at stuff regarding how strong they are to have, as this is an optimization blog. Now, I will just give my opinions on a few of the homebrew rules the book suggests.
Accellerated Rests: I wouldn't recommend this rule, because 1 hr SR's is important to keep effects like Goodberry and Aid which last a long time in check by forcing a penalty on how long they take. I would instead recommmend mechanically keeping SR's at 1 hr, but saying that narratively it takes a shorter amount of time. Flavor is free can extend further than just a character.
Arduous Rally: This is something I actually really like. 5 min SR's makes Lock too broken, but forcing an Exhaustion gives a risk-reward dynamic that can be interesting to players and gives them agency. I'd consider adding this rule.
Rapid Quaffing: A very common house rule, and one I'm fine with. It gives a reason to ever consider healing potions over just using Goodberries.
Alternative resurrection rules: Harrowing Return: Please throw Secret Face into the trash. I want to play my fucking character, not be forced to grief the party. Otherwise... no, I still dislike this. There's a weird mix of arguably buffing and even heroic effects and mildly annoying effects, none of which effectively mechanically represent what this rule is supposed to represent for me.
Alternative resurrection rules: Fading Spirits: This one is a lot better. I like that there are several rolls and multiple RP moments involved, because that can help drag the suspension of the moment out further. The action cast clause means that you actually want to prep Revivify instead of Carto'ing it to take the high chance of revival.
....Is what I would say if Guidance stacking wasn't real. Optimally, it just makes Revivify inconsistent.
Alternative resurrection rules: Taxing Return: This is a classic method of punishing reviving, and a moderately effective one. Dying happens rarely in optimized games, so do consider making the penalty higher, like -3 Con.
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